Tuesday, November 03, 2009


People choose to marry for many reasons. Here are just a few of the reasons listed in numerous surveys:

• To be free from parents.
• To have sex.
• Love.
• To relieve loneliness.
• To be happy.
• Physical attractiveness.
• To have a baby.
• Financial security.
• Immigration purposes
• Friends are married.
• Fear of not finding a partner.

In Christian Circles “Love” is listed as the primary reason for marriage, but one must question whether or not those listing “love” actually understand the meaning. God commands Believers to love one another. Therefore, one must conclude that love is not an emotion. Now, none will deny the emotional aspect of what the world calls “falling in love.”

Love, it seems to this writer, is acting in such a way as to demonstrate one’s care for the welfare of another. Love would, therefore, be quite selfless in its actions always seeking first to make the other successful and fulfilled, and thereby gaining a sense of fulfillment in those very acts.

God seems to command the Believer to marry and raise up children who are taught to love God and live their lives as a reflection of that love. Therefore, the primary reason for marriage ought to be obedience to God. If two Believers are committed to walking with Christ, they will develop a strong emotional tie as a natural result of their acting in love toward one another.

The tragedy of contemporary marriages between Believers is that most are based upon an emotional attraction which, unlike a faith commitment to God, often changes based upon the circumstances of life. Therefore, marriages between Believers are dissolving at an alarming rate.

It seems to this writer that two Believers who genuinely “like” one another and are willing to act in love toward one another, as unto God Himself, would make a great marriage. They could grow together over the years, and would stand a much better chance of success than those marriages based upon emotional attachments and/or physical attributes.

Don’t mistake the emotional attraction for “love.” Few couples genuinely understand love until they’ve been married for some years. Emotional love is important, but it should be that which has grown out of sharing, struggling, and growing together.

© 2009 Mike Rasberry


Writer, Splinters of Silver.com said...

Have you ever heard the comment/excuse: I love him, but I am *in* love with him. I still haven't figured that one out just yet. I have also heard that the emotional attraction can last up to 2 years, and without having more than just that one is most certain to find emotional attraction with someone else; most likely claiming to the first, I just don't love you anymore. Too bad it is often too late, or almost too late before we start considering the things you have posted.


Writer, Splinters of Silver.com said...
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